Faux Pas Witnessed at a Ratatat Concert

1. Arythmic dancing - Yes, I realize that Ratatat (and opening band 120 Days) are dance bands. I get it. You're all on spring break, you've got your best white sportcoat and fashion mullet on, and you just want to cut loose. I sympathize, although being stereotypically white (ie: lame) and overweight, I politely choose to stand off to the side and perform the traditional concert head-nod. No big deal. I do however have one request: If you must dance, at least dance to the music. Every single person there took it upon themselves to do the same hippie-dance-sway bullshit for every song, regardless of tempo or breaks in the music. It was like watching a movie where the sound doesn't line up with the actor's mouth. Except this wasn't a movie, this was about 300 kids who wish the 80s never ended trying to dance to an 18 minute Phish song playing in their head.

2. Mosh-Humping - This term might be misleading, because there's no real moshing that goes on at a Ratatat concert, but no matter where you go, you will always see the normally socially-awkward couple trying like hell to make a baby right there in front of everybody. I'm not really a prude, but come on man, you don't want to blow your wad too quick, what are you going to do after the show? Grab some Chalupas and watch Will and Grace? Plan ahead. Although I will say this much: this is the exception that proves the rule of my previous comment. This couple were the only ones who did anything in time with the music, so good for them I guess. At one point I saw him put his hand up the back of her skirt when he thought no one was looking, and fingerbang her to the bass line of the song "Crips." I politely excused myself and grabbed another Coors Light.

3. Sucking - This is perhaps the greatest of all faux pas. 120 Days sucked, a lot. But having never listened to them before I didn't really hold that against them. I held out hope that Ratatat would bring the noise to compliment the already copious amounts of funk in the room. And when they finally took the stage (35 minutes late) they sounded good. "Wow," I thought, "they managed to pull off a great live sound. Why it sounds just like their CD! Wait a minute..." I had witnessed what was essentially the Guitar-Heroization of music, where all the loops, drops, and other goodies that make a Ratatat album sound really cool were being performed by the push of a button and a lot of standing around, while dueling guitars played (poorly) over the top of the preset tracklist. It was a disappointment to be sure, especially considering that other electronic bands (ex: the Album Leaf, and Grizzly Bear) were able to fully recreate the studio sound on stage without simply pushing a button for a prerecorded karaoke track. I'm glad I didn't pay for this show. Scene Legends don't pay for shows.

-Konrad Adenauer